Peer Review of Koh Han Xiong’s WA2

First, I like the three arguments listed by Koh in his outline. They are very relevant and strong points to work on.

Second,  the thesis statement should be included in the first paragraph and not in the second. "Therefore, I agrued that International Leaders should nt...." cannot be a paragraph by it own.

Third, more background information about Solar Radiation Managment (SRM) should be provided for the reader.

Fourth, Koh mentioned that sulphur particles is bad for humans, perhaps he should explain and elaborate more by cross referencing to some other reliable source. This is because, I felt that not much is explained about the adverse effects of sulphur on human and how it causes acid rain.

Fifth, the rebuttal for the counter-argument on the fact that SRM is cheap and fast, is explained quite thoroughly and coherently.

Last, Koh should try to vary his sentence structure so as to improve the style of his writing. For example, in the conclusion, he wrote "We should not shift our focus..." then in the next sentence he starts with  "We should" again.

Blog 2: Peer Review of Koh Han Xiong’s Essay

After reviewing my peer's essay on "A Force to Fight Global Warming" I have the following comments to make.

First, the thesis statement "We will look into the vital roles of the 2 arguments which were put forward by 3 ecologists namely Wil R. Turner, Michael Oppenheimer and David S. Wilcove." is found in paragraph 2 instead of paragraph 1. Paragraph 2 can be combined with paragraph 1 as both paragraphs are introducing the thesis of the essay.

Second, the writer did make use of connector words (like firstly and furthermore) to start a new paragraph.

Third, the last second paragraph is incoherent. Last sentence of the paragraph "Thus, when all the deforestation starts to take place we are destroying our food chain" does not really conclude the support details given in that paragraph. Henceforth, the word "thus" should not be use and should be replace with "Moreover, meats that are consumed by people are found in the natural ecosystem so by destroying the ecosystem we are actually destroying our food source."

Fourth, some of the paragraph written are too short and without clear supporting details. For example the paragraph "In the second argument, the authors are arguing on ..." should be combine with the two supporting evidence in the two paragraphs below. So, the paragraph should go like this "In the second argument, the authors are arguing on promising biotechnology behind the ecosystem. The authors are referring to that they are still many hidden science in the ecosystem that people has not found out. First evidence cited by the authors, enzymes from Limnoria quadripunctata, an insect, can breakdown agriculture waste products for biofuels. We do not need to clear lands or threaten the habitats to breakdown agriculture waste. Second evidence cited by the authors, the crops that farmer grows have wild relativities. This wild relative may have better growth opportunities in a new weather conditions. We should carry out researches on these wild relatives."

 

 

Summary of the Lecture on Institutional and Individual Response to Climate Change

Here’s a summary of the lecture given by Asst. Professor Dr. Benjamin K. Sovacool from the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy:

Dr. Sovacool gave a brief overview of the climate change conundrum before going on to describe various institutional and individual solutions to climate change.

Climate change occurs due to the increase emission of greenhouse gas with carbon dioxide and methane being the majority. The sector that has the greatest share of emission is the energy sector. Countries that top the level of emissions are US, China and Indonesia.

In view of this conundrum, institutional actions for climate stabilization are needed. Institutions responsible for the various industrial sectors emitting greenhouse gases must improve or implement new policies, incentives, tax and regulations to remedy the situation.  Even though some of these actions taken may not produce immediate results but at least it will prevent the current situation from deteriorating further.

Individuals must also play a part help to sustain electricity, food, homes and technology in order to prevent climate change. Individuals and companies should support the use of renewable energy sources. If we were to reduce the consumption of livestock and eat more locally produce products we will be able to reduce emission greenhouse gases emitting from the farming and agricultural sector. At home, we can use electricity more efficiency.  Finally, we can reduce greenhouse gases produce in waste management by sustaining technology simply by purchasing products that are of important need instead of novelty or fashion. 

10 things you need to know about me

1. My name: WONG CHUN SHENG DAVID
2. Course/Year: NUS Mechanical Engineering / Year 2 (poly-direct entry)
3. Age: 22 years
4. Interest: Current Affairs/ Graphic Design/ Cycling/ Badminton
5. Religion: Catholic (Church of Divine Mercy)
6. Birthday: 21 Oct 1987
7. Favourite Songs: I prefer Chinese, Classical and Instrumental Songs (like SENS and Bandari)
8. Favourite FM : 93.3, 88.3 and 96.3
9. Things I am busy with right now: Studies and more studies
10. Things I would like to learn/take up in future: Photography/ Web programming